A deeply troubling childhood In Educated, Westover describes a deeply troubling childhood whose lasting impact simply cannot be denied. This article is an excerpt from the Shortform summary of "Educated" by Tara Westover. The ground gave way beneath my feet, dragging me downward, spinning fast, like sand rushing through a hole in the bottom of the universe. I am grateful that such stories are being published as they are the stories that need to be heard. But Tara was still enjoying the time with her brother. Who Is Rowdy in The Absolutely True Diary? August 20, 1931 March 6, 2018. She made a public show of laughing as Shawn paraded her through the store at the gas station, in front of the people whod witnessed the attack in the parking lot just minutes before. He harshly chastised her for her friendship with Charles, a young man she met at the theatre, telling Tara that she was developing a reputation for being that kind of girl. He also started calling her a whore for wearing makeup and lip gloss. It is not just about gender politics, racial wars, or gun control. I wish I had my best friend back, she wrote. Westover grew up in a bleak Idahoan valley wrought with fear. Tara's family members don't dispute that any of these stories happened. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. While Educated is heart-wrenching at times, there are also incredibly tender moments of a brother leaving behind a beloved choir music CD for a sister, and her studying at a borrowed desk working toward her education. It would be an evening Tara would never forget. From the creators of SparkNotes, something better. Tara Westover's net worth is found to be above $1 million, as estimated by several online portals. It's unfortunately the same issue that Tara herself struggles with in her book, she is in the end not nearly critical enough of her family - understandable because she needs to have peace of mind, but not encouraging for anyone reading who is in an abusive situation and doesn't need to hear "but hey now when I think back on my abuser, I remember how he would smile with a crinkle in his eyes.." So trite, fuck your abusers, period. Whether the story is exaggerated or not, if even a quarter. She recalls her body changing at this time as she reached sexual maturity. Being her older sister, Audrey had experienced all of it first, before Tara did. It seemed like they had reached a breakthrough. But I think part of respecting yourself, actually, and your ability to have your own ideas is respecting other peoples right for the same. Westover remains estranged from about half of her family, including her parents, she said. She has five older brothers and an older sister. While proof is sought out in first-person accounts and inquisition, little proof is needed when examining the psychological ramifications of these events. If he saw her speaking with another boy, Shawn would give Sadie the cold shoulder and refuse to speak to her. I think this is how he does it - he acknowledges her abuse but also points out these inconsistencies that are not necessarily inconsistencies, and preaches sympathy towards Shawn. I think the fact that Tylers wife, who did not spend her whole childhood being abused and brainwashed and is not emotionally dependent on the parents, suppers Taras account really says a lot. For example, when I have tooth cavities repaired, I usually opt not to have any painkillers because I prefer a few minutes of pain in a dentist's office instead of hours of being numb. Tara had lost her family. It is our intent and purpose to foster and encourage in-depth discussion about all things related to books, authors, genres, or publishing in a safe, supportive environment. I've read a lot of what Tyler has to say on this matter. As I retold and read aloud passages of the book to my husband, even he was shocked that Westover allowed herself to be alone with Shawn again and again. They aren't your family, they are people who through you under the bus, sometimes literally with that piece of sh*t father forcing you to work in a dangerous junkyard etc, and forfeited their right to your public compliments about their supposed great character. The next time we spoke, Mother told me that the knife had never been meant as a threat. They were driving home during wintertime and he put the windows down for the duration of the 12 mile car ride. "My students can't get enough of your charts and their results have gone through the roof." You can feel the truth of Tara's book, and you can feel her trying to be fair in what she says. Shawn fingered the thick steel, which I was sure he could tell was not cheap at all. We need not look further than Westovers loss of her first love and second significant relationship to see how deeply family issues can invade and destroy future lasting unions. Tara retreated into the same defensive shell that shed used during the Thanksgiving attack the month before: she pretended that it was all a joke. | She alludes to breaking up with her first two boyfriends mentioned in the book (Charles, and later Nick) in ways she's not proud of. Not knowing Tara at all, Id personally want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but its not like there isnt any incentive to paint things in a way that makes the story more provocative. Shawn Westovers abuse of Tara may indicate why she chose to give him a fictitious name in her memoir. It was one of her first steps toward recognizing what Shawn truly wasand recognizing, also, how her family had implicitly condoned his abuse. The day after the sisters email exchange, Audrey Westover confronted Faye about Shawn. However, because I was not there, I cannot make any certain conclusions. When Tara returned to Bucks Peak for Grandma-down-the-hills funeral, Audrey told Tara that nothing had changed. Besides, Tyler doesn't dispute the killing itself, nor the fact that Shawn did do the killing immediately prior to coming in and threatening Tara with the bloody knife Shawn's abusive nature is clear from many of Tyler's stories. By the second half of the memoir, Shawn is married to Emily. Before the accident, my mom often called us kids by the wrong name (I never understood that as a kid, but now that I am a parent with several children, I do it too). She is a business woman, a wife, a mother, and grandmother. As Dad picks up the phone to call, act like children, shell treat them like children. She meekly submits to the psychological and physical abuse thats piled on her by her family and yet seems to merely plod ahead without effort in a brilliantly successful academic career, which she seems to pass through with offhand indifference. Will some smart redditor go through and compile all the good parts please? This is a moderated subreddit. Beginning when Tara is a teenager, he taunts and abuses her. The abuse only continued as Tara got deeper into her teen years. He demanded proof of the violent acts that Tara told him about. Required fields are marked *. It happened about a year before I returned and by that time the scars had faded to be nearly invisible except perhaps under a close investigation. In fact, I have never picked up any of the books on her list because as a clinical psychologist I get enough secondary trauma in my day job that makes me vigilant about protecting myself during off hours. There are women, children and animals still in the clutches of these uncontrolled psychopathic fanatics. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Westover, now 31, grew up on a secluded, rural mountain, the youngest of seven in a family that practiced a radical form of Mormonism. Family, friend, or fan, this family history biography is for you to remember Shawn O Westover. The blade glowed crimson. When he would drive her to rehearsals at the theater, Shawn would bait and bully Taras friends there. Like this article? The next thing I remember is waking up to find the car bouncing through a field at high speed. Personally, I have always enjoyed good health and have avoided both traditional and alternative medicines as much as possible. Could she find evidence? Parachute Colors: What Do They Represent? Tara Westovers Life in a Mormon Survivalist Family, Everybody, Always: Discussion Questions to Inspire You, JD Vances Sister: Lindsays Shocking Appalachian Childhood, Martha Beck: The Way of Integrity (Book Overview & Takeaways), Basic Economics: Book Overview (Thomas Sowell). Whats The Difference Between Dutch And French Braids? She couldnt understand why Shawn did these things to her, even when shed told him not to touch her and had begged him to stop. Taras brother. Eh. Once again, her parents downplayed the significance of what Shawn said, saying that he was only joking or didnt really mean it. When Tara protested again (her resistance was obviously a trigger for him), Shawn once more pinned Tara to the floor and dragged her to the bathroom, where he shoved her face into the toilet. Tyler is male, and its pretty clear the family adheres to pretty strict gender roles. Shawn called it a death machine and said Dad had lost what little sense hed ever had. The book is Tara's memoir. Furthermore, the threats and violence implied by Westovers brother Shawn would deem necessary a call to police via Californias famous Tarasoff law, otherwise known as Duty to Warn.. They also provided cover for abusive behavior by her black-sheep brother, likely because he had ended up in charge of the non-herbal-oils part of their business world (the junkyard, etc.) The next instant our car drove through and completely severed a wood power pole before running into a very old, small tractor. In the reality she constructed for herself nothing had been wrong before her brother fell off that pallet. If you're looking for help with a personal book recommendation, consult our Weekly Recommendation Thread, Suggested Reading page, or ask in r/suggestmeabook. Shawn had an unsavory reputation in the community, being well-known as a bully, brawler, and all-around provocateur. Born into a Mormon family, she had an unconventional upbringing, which is the highlight of her memoir. to ride in a car without seat belts, driven by a teenager driver with zero sleep, in a snow storm??? She would not be hurt, like I was. One morning, she woke up to a blinding pain of what felt like needles in her brain and throat. Did You Know Anxiety Can Enhance Our Relationships? When she was back home a few weeks later for Christmas, she was out driving with Shawn Westover when they happened upon Charles car in the parking lot of the local gas station. Westovers own mental breakdowns, accounts of waking up screaming in the streets, of staying in bed all day is not unlike an offshoot of her fathers mental illness sprouting a small seed within her. It is also ironically about understanding how a small subset of those controlling media outlets hardly shows the full picture of what it means to be an American. So while I understand Tyler is probably trying to come from a place of mercy and reconciliation here, it's a dead wrong and demeaning attitude in response to significant abuse. To me it appeared that a handlebar of the motorbike or a cow's horn had punctured his skull, leaving a hole that I thought I could have fit my entire index finger into. I finished the book late a few nights ago, having not heard of the book at all only a week prior. First, Break All the Rules: Book Overview, Understanding Nonverbal Communication Like a Pro, JD Vances Mamaw Saved Him From Becoming a Loser Hillbilly, Coach Bill Walsh: New Offense Changes the Game, How Tara Westover was abused by her brother as a child, Why Tara's parents set up the children for failure, How Tara ultimately broke out of her parents' grasp and succeeded for herself. How Tara Westover was abused by her brother as a child, Why Tara's parents set up the children for failure, How Tara ultimately broke out of her parents' grasp and succeeded for herself. Yet Taras parents continued to do nothing about Shawns disturbing behavior, even when it put their grandson and daughter-in-law at clear risk. We'll look at Shawn Westover's relationship with the author and cover parts of Educated that might indicate why Tara chose not to reveal Shawn's real name, even though she used the real names of at least three of her four other brothers. For years, Ms. Westover's parents refused to accept that Shawn was a criminal. Even if, let's say, she had been been verbally sassy with her brother "Shawn," once he started threatening her with a knife, threatening to kill her, physically holding her in a painful and injury-threatening position, shoved her head into the toilet, yanked her hair and made her fall into the bathtub, and so on, does it matter whether she said something less-than-cordial to her brother? I feel really bad for him, because you can tell he's lying to himself. I was surprised that the nurses just put a bandage over it and said that the wound was small and would heal fine. Fundamentalism occurs throughout many major religions. Her father, Gene, was outragedat Tara. Detailed quotes explanations with page numbers for every important quote on the site. Shortform has the world's best summaries of books you should be reading. Perhaps tired of his bossiness, Tara dumped the glass on his head. How I had hollowed myself out. Everything at home is as Tara remembersexcept for, meaningless tasks for her at the junkyard. I do not remember any noticeable impairment, and I thought that my mother had fully recovered within a few weeks. Eventually, it would be Taras turn to be a direct recipient of Shawns wrath. She was seventeen the first time she set foot in a classroom. I will save discussing the safety aspects of those events for a later post, and here I will only comment on the healing aspects. Tara was also learning that Shawn could be emotionally abusive, especially to women and girls. Appreciated throughout the memoir was Westovers own inquiry into the possibility of her own madness so to speak. . Thats certainly not the truth. Her family does seem like they treated her in an aloof, controlling, religiously stunted manner. He finally wrote her a letter claiming that he never wanted to speak to her again, and warned her to stay away from his wife and daughter. Other warning signs of Shawns unstable and combative personality soon emerged. Tara turned 15 in September 2001. I did not yet understand that it was this fact of being tenderof having lived some years of a life that allowed tendernessthat would, finally, save me. As she enters the house, quiet as she can, she comes face-to-face with, world of BYU is truly her homein Bucks Peak, as evidenced by the encounter with, In September, Tara returns to Bucks Peak for, and lungs over the subsequent months, and when his doctors send him home, they warn. Tara's brother. Shes published dozens of articles and book reviews spanning a wide range of topics, including health, relationships, psychology, science, and much more. Press J to jump to the feed. Shawn Westover is the fictitious name Tara Westover gives to one of her brothers in her memoir Educated. On 27 September 1986, Tara Westover was born at her home on the secluded yet picturesque Bucks Peak, a mountain in Clifton, Idaho.  I half-wondered if I should return to the bathroom and climb through the mirror, then send out the other girl, the one who was sixteen. Tara also recounts this event in great detail in Educated, although her memory of the details is quite different than mine. Free UK p&p over 10, online orders only. At first glance it appeared to be a three-ton pair of scissors, and this turned out to be exactly what it was. WaterWipes Plastic-Free Original Baby Wipes, 99.9% Water Based Wipes, Unscented & Hypoallergenic for Sensitive Skin, 720 Count (Pack of 12), Packaging May Vary. (including. My concern would be the extent to which writing the narrative changed her perspective, which then may have changed her recollection of objective facts (which may not be the essence of any memoir, but are never irrelevant). He is nuts and so is anyone who backs his story. When Tara suffered a neck injury from a car accident, he refused to take her to the hospital. Tyler Westover: Westover's older brother, the third brother of the seven siblings. Westover never attended school, had a limited source of learning, and had no access to proper medical facilities while growing up. In the end, this force of denial even swept up Audrey Westover, Taras erstwhile ally in the fight to bring the truth to light. Your email address will not be published. Her story has been described as a "brutal, one-of-a-kind memoir", a tale of her upbringing in a survivalist family with elements of abuse against a background of "fundamentalist Mormonism" and an anti-government mindset. Audrey would later recount to Tara via email that she never believed their mother would intervene to stop him and protect her daughters. Here's what you'll find in our full Educated summary : Amanda Penn is a writer and reading specialist. Complete your free account to request a guide. She and her siblings have been raised on a mountaintop in Idaho. Each is valid. What I do wonder, though, is the extent to which Tara Westover omitted parts of stories that might show her in a bad light, or that might fill in some context about her dynamic with her brother "Shawn" (apparently his real name is Travis). Your email address will not be published. Tara Westover grows up with in an unconventional way (no birth certificates, no medical records, etc.). 4 Practical Mental Health Lessons From Tara Westover's Memoir. I actually think this mostly validates Taras experience. One night, as punishment, Shawn forced his youngest sister to walk home for 12 miles in the sub-zero conditions of an Idaho winter. After I left to study at BYU, other members of my family suffered more severe injuries.